"Believe it or not, you are in control of your own life. You are the reason why you're sad,
and you're the reason why you're happy. Don't wait for happiness. Go out and find it."

9.23.2011

One year

Today for some odd reason I felt like blogging. Lately it hasn't been something I've been needing or even wanting to do. I honestly don't even know how to blog anymore. I haven't been very open with the emotions I have been feeling, and I am not sure why. Maybe I am trying not to face them. I've been putting on a front and acting like everything is okay.
A year ago yesterday I found out I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It's a day I will never forget as much as I would like too. This year has flown by. Today I am happy and healthy. My hair is coming back curly which is crazy because it was so straight before. I am feeling great. One thing I think is really crazy is that half of this year was a complete blur. Going through chemotherapy is something I hardly remember. I chose to forget about it and never go back to that situation to feel the pain I was in then. My mind has done a terrific job forgetting about it totally. I am so happy for that.
I haven't been very thankful for everything I have and how truly lucky I am. I am working on trying to be a better person for myself and everyone I am close with. Sometimes I take things for granted. I want to start  appreciating the things that I have rather than wishing or hoping for more. To be honest I am one of the lucky ones.