One Month Down

I've been waiting to write this when it was "the right time" or when it got "easier" to but then I realized, this will never get any easier..

My Auntie is one of the greatest people I know. She shared with me her love for friends, relationships, animals, a good book, the ocean, cooking, picture taking, memory making, scrap booking, and a million other things that mattered. She loved to feel.

I always felt like her daughter. We look alike! We've gone through LOTS of the same things. We each have a high school sweetheart named Danny, we both had a form of Lymphoma 💚💜 we've been bald & gone through chemo around the same age. We have similarities.. We have always wanted a farm. We LOVE the ocean more than words. 🌊 Lance Bass is our favorite Nsync member. Quotes and sayings are life. Music is good for the soul. We always believed you're only as happy as you let yourself be. And only you are in charge of that happiness.

There are a few things I can no longer do without losing it completely. I can't listen to the song 'Senorita' by Shawn Mendes or 'Shallow' by Lady Gaga let alone watch the movie A Star Is Born. 'Fill Me In' by Craig David (that was our song) still stops my breath but is becoming more tolerable.

The happy things.. Charlie has your middle name and initials CJ! ❤ The movie "Shag" brings a smile to my face. Whenever I am at the beach, I think of you. That monarch butterfly is always you 🦋 I hope she knows how much I love her! I will forever cherish the memories I was so lucky to make with her. She will always be in my heart. And for the rest of my life I will search for moments of you.

The regrets I have are small and will leave with time.. The last picture I took on my phone was supposed to go to her but never got sent. I had the feeling to call that weekend, but forgot and didn't. I recently watched A Star Is Born, one of her favs, but never got to talk to her about it.

I think the message being, if you think of someone or miss them.. send the text, make the call, the email, the snap, the dm. Tell them. Because life is TOO short! ❤

Please zoom in to read & please share her freaking awesome obituary she wrote. YOU'RE MY HERO! 💚

Brooke Moyes

It's been almost a year since I have posted anything on here. Although, I am sad that I haven't found the time or have found anything worth writing. That is all about to change. Danny and I are expecting our first baby July 23, 2015. Now this is something worth writing about. Let me catch you up on a few things..

October 2014; We decided we should start trying to have a baby. I have always been somewhat concerned I would not be able to get pregnant. I can thank cancer for that. We thought, might as well start trying in case it takes us a year or two.

November 2014; I had a long rough week at work. I thought a glass of wine sounded like just what I needed. First, might as well take a pregnancy test to be sure that was okay. (I had taken one a week earlier, which came back negative.) Peed on stick, positive. Scratch that glass of wine. Freak out a little! (in an awesome way) Greet husband at the door, "I'm pregnant! What should we do?!" His response, "Celebrate!!" 

 From that moment on we were so excited, we are going to be parents! 

We were in shock of how quickly it happened. We are so happy and so thankful. 

Pregnancy, lets face it, it has not been the best time of my life. I don't have the pregnancy glow. I am not one of the lucky ones that just gets a bigger belly. I have gained weight everywhere! And I mean everywhere! I have gotten so many stretch marks. I am still throwing up every morning. (I am 30 weeks pregnant!) I could go on all day of how much harder this has been than I thought it would ever be. But none of that matters because I am going to be a mom! I am so blessed that my pregnancy has been a healthy one. I have this perfect baby growing in my belly. I am so anxious to finally meet her. Have a mentioned we are having a baby girl? Her name is Brooke. Brooke (working on middle name) Moyes.

21 weeks 1 lb. 2 oz.

12 weeks

22 weeks

25 weeks

30 weeks

  
I am hoping to find the time to write more often. I can't wait to catch you guys up on my life. 

Thanks for reading,
-Kristin

Passion

I've been lacking passion in my life lately. I am not sure how I came to this and how I have just barley realized because as long as I know I have been feeling this way for quite sometime now. It's a weird feeling. It's an empty feeling. I am very happy with everything in my life now. I feel like I am putting most of my emotions and feelings into things that I don't really care to. Putting these great emotions into nothing has finally got old. I finally feel as though I have found something that I am passionate about. Now this thing I have always thought about and have wanted to put my effort and self control into but I have always been to weak and have let my body win my mind. 

If you know me you know that I am the biggest animal lover. There is just something about every animal that makes me so happy. They are so selfless and forgiving. I believe their one and only goal in life is to be our companions, our best friend, the ones who understand us, the ones that make us happy. We come home to them after a long day and no matter our vibe towards them or how long we left them home alone, they are so happy to see us. I could be having the worst day, but as soon as I walk through that door and I am greeted by them, I can't help but smile and be happy. I only hope that I can make them feel the way they make me feel everyday. This is something I wish I could do for every animal. Sadly, I can't. It's not realistic. 

This is where my title comes back into play, passion. I've found it. Every time I think about my new passion I feel reborn, like I am starting a new life. I feel relief and satisfaction. For 22 years I have been doing the same things, this is a huge step that I have been wanting to take for awhile now. I have tried in the past to change this life style of mine but every time in the past I have given up. I was too weak. This time feels right. I'm ready.

It's only been 3 days but so far since March 20th 2013 I have been truly happy with my new life style and giving up meat. I am sure most of you think that I am crazy but this has nothing to do with you. This is something I have always been passionate about. I've always felt somewhat guilty finding pleasure in eating such a valuable life. I understand reasons for both eating and not eating animals. My main issue is how those animals are treated all their life up until their death. They are cheated life. They will never have a life and be treated fairly and they way they deserve to be. I am done feeling guilty and I am done supporting animal cruelty. 

I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I can breathe. I have so much energy to put into this. It feels great to be feeling so passionate about something I care so deeply for. I am excited to experience this new way of living. I am excited to find different ways of consuming protein and making my body so much healthier. It's exciting to learn more about vegetarian life and beliefs. It feels good to believe.

American Love

Exchanging beauty for the ashes
Given my heart To nothing real
I've given my heart away
To so many things
So many times I've failed
Help me stop this endless cycle
Remind me of how it can be

Take me back I surrender all
Without you my heart is broken
I never should have let you go
I never should have let you slip through my arms

As the sun sets tonight
I'll hold you with all that I am
I never should have let you go
Promise me you'll stay with me forever
Forever

Forgive me
For running so quickly to the outside

You get what you give

Watching all the stories and what's going on with Japan I've realized so many things. One big thing is that materialistic things don't matter. None of it. In a flash it could all be gone. But what you will have are relationships. Relationships with people. Friendships. Love. To me, love is the only thing that matters. Watching everyones belongings and cars being taken away is heartbreaking. It's hard to watch. But we can all take something from this experience and it's that materialistic things don't matter. Lets put more effort into our relationships. I dislike money being such a huge part of peoples lives. I get that money is necessary to live but something I strongly believe in, is it's better to give and give and give then get and get and get. Getting is great but giving is even better. I sometimes selfishly only think of myself but why, there are so many others to care and think about. I'm not as important as I sometimes think. I want to become more selfless. I know I am in some ways because Danny tells me all the time but I want to do more things for other people. I find enjoyment in that.

Love always, Kristin

Random thought

I never knew bunnies pooped so much..

I never knew you could have so much in common with your nail lady..

I never knew true love until my relationship with Danny..

And I never thought I could actually be a morning person..

It's surreal that I will be in remission so soon..

Ogden Athletic Club is so nice. My new home..

Happy Birthday, Kristin Brooke Correa

I am now 20 years old and it feels great. I was nervous about turning twenty but I think this year is easily going to be the best year of my life. It's exciting knowing this. I feel calm and at ease with whatever comes my way. I've never felt this sense of calm. My whole life I've been overcome by anxiety of things that I will never hold the power to. I've tried to take control of too many situations and I've exhausted myself in the process. I am fed up with that state of mind I've been living in the past 20 years. It's time for things to change drastically, and they already have. I honestly can't explain what has gotten me to this point but to be honest, it feels amazing. Enough with that. Valentine's Day was yesterday. I LOVE Valentine's Day! I think it has a point, I notice a lot of people always hating it or thinking it is stupid. Why do we need a day to remember love and to do something nice for our loved one, shouldn't that be every day? I think we should consider this everyday and treat everyday like it's Valentine's Day but we are human and we don't, leaving Valentine's Day special and romantic. We are busy and sometimes don't give our loved ones the time they really deserve. That is why Valentine's Day is necessary. For all of you who HATE Valentine's Day and think it is unnecessary, or dumb, "realizing I'm single day." You are wrong. That is a reason you are probably still single. You obviously aren't happy with yourself. You think you are mature for love, but you are not. What ever happened to being happy for others and realizing that your day might come too when you can enjoy Valentines Day with your lover. Once you have someone are you still going to hate Valentines Day? I highly doubt it. So in conclusion, be happy for others in love. As we all know, it's not easy. Be happy for those who have worked hard for something they have. Have hope and know that one day it will happen for you too. There is no rush to fall in love. When the time is right you will have it. I was a little taken back with people's negative posts on FB. Again, FB.. I should seriously delete it but I find it a great way for communication, in a way. I am not very confrontational that is why I post something here and not there, because I feel safer here. Now on to my birthday and my Valentine's Day. I love that Danny says, "it's your birthday before Valentine's Day. It makes me feel special. I am literally his Valentine. My birthday started off as any regular day, D and I got up sorta early but slept in a little. I was craving McDonalds breakfast so he went and got us that. After we ate we got ready for the day and had some errands we needed to run. First we went to Petsmart to buy things for my bunnies, then we went to Home Depot for some things for the house. After that we drove down to Salt Lake to meet the guy with my baby bunnies, he was so cute and nice and I enjoyed talking to him. Oh on the way chemo kicked back in and I got sick :/ When we arrived home with them we were in such awe we didn't know what to do. First of all they are tiny! Little little. They were so much littler that we thought, they are also so soft and furry. They look fake. It's really amazing to hold something that small and cute. We let them jump around the backyard until one of them jumped through the fence into the neighbors yard, luckily we got it before anything worse could happen. That was the scariest moment ever, we live on a busy street and they are very fast for how little they are, anything could have happened. So my day was going great other than being sick the rest of the day. Danny got me OTH season 6&7 and my bunnies. I had a great birthday. For dinner I decided I wanted to BBQ because it was SO nice and you don't get to do that often in Utah especially in February on my birthday, I've always wanted a summer birthday. Danny made him and I bacon cheese burgers, with bbq sauce. They were so yummy! We sat outside our backyard and ate and I asked him, "How many other couples do you think are eating hamburgers in their backyard? Usually on V-day you want to be all dressed up and go out to eat somewhere expensive." He agreed and we laughed. But honestly, there is nothing I would have wanted to do more. I was so happy just to be with him. We don't have to do anything too expensive or out of the ordinary. I was just happy to be with him and spend time with him. After dinner the doorbell rang. Danny went to get it while I cleaned up. He came in with a box from UPS, it was addressed to me, I was thinking cool, maybe it's my OTH. I asked him what it was and he wasn't sure but he had a huge grin on his face. I kept saying OTH can't be that big. When he finally got it open I saw a dozen red roses, a box of chocolates, and some lavender bath soap. I was so excited and surprised  I kept asking who it was from. I got the card out and read the name at the bottom and it was from Danny. I looked at him smiling and in disbelief, I probably hurt his feelings. I've mentioned before that  he is not the most thoughtful person. So I was very taken back and excited that he actually did something for my birthday. I kept telling him thank you and how much I loved what he did. Here I was after dinner thinking I had already got my presents and my birthday was coming to an end and these show up. I am so hard to surprise because I am up in every one's business. But he did it. He surprised me for the first time in my life. I was the happiest girl in that moment. I love you DFM. Thank you for making me feel special every day. I had the best birthday and Valentine's Day ever. One thing I have been really considering doing is now that I am 20, I want to try not to consume any alcohol until I am 21. I think this would be a great challenge and worth doing. Also very hard because I have not drank for awhile now since I was diagnosed. I will be in remission in a month and at my cancer free party, I will be tempted. I want to use my self control. If I have any. I hate giving up on things so I think I am going to try and stick with it no matter what. My 21 experience will be something fun worth remembering. Who knows, I might not miss it at all and I will realize that. Best wishes to me. 

call it what you want

I was feeling down but then I remembered it's February 1st! I love February. Not only is it my birthday month it's also a month for love. Love, hearts, candy, chocolates, purple, pink, surprises, gifts, jewelry, valentines, cupid.. I've come to love that my birthday falls on Valentine's Day. I used to hate it because if I didn't have a valentine I would be sad and if my friends did have valentines and I didn't, then I wouldn't be able to do anything for my birthday. But luckily that never happened and now that I have a valentine every year, I have nothing to worry about. 


It's official, we are moving this weekend. I am so ready to be out of this apartment. I am going stir crazy. I can't wait to save and put away Danny's paychecks each month instead of it all going to rent. We are both pretty sure we might stay in this house until we are both done with school.. This could be awhile but we would never be broke and would actually have a lot of money. Realistically it would be the best thing to do right now. We could live in comfort than in debt. We are wanting to fix the house up a little bit. It is in some serious need of TLC. The thing I am most excited about is having a yard. I can't wait to mow the lawn and plant flowers, and finally start my own garden. Ready for spring and summer. 

February 1st Agenda:

11am-blog

12pm-pack

1pm-pack

2pm-watch The Talk

3pm-watch Dr. Phil

4pm-pack

5pm-pack

6pm-pack

7pm-pack

8pm-settle on the couch with d.

9pm-read my love dare

10pm-go nigh nigh

*my day consists of packing, as you see. I am going to do my best and get everything ready for the big move. 

p.s. On my last post when I told you anxiety can take off years of your life.. I really meant stress.. sorry to misinform all of you. My mistake I read it wrong. Stress can take those years from you. Maybe not a huge difference but it might be to some of you.

Happy Blogging!

"if you don't want to read, i don't blame you"

I've finally come to the realization that I am on fb way too much. Not that it is necessarily a bad thing, I love knowing what others are up to, or hearing quotes that I haven't heard before. I think it's great how others open up somehow by something so little as a status. But maybe it is a bad thing. I usually am on when I am bored or have some extra time, but lately all my time is extra time. I'm lucky for my fund and Danny who has been supporting me lately, in anything I want. I feel a little spoiled, not that I don't deserve it because I think I do. What girl doesn't want a man to spoil them. As long as I don't let it get to my head. Through this journey I've learned a lot about myself. Thinking back to the day I was diagnosed with cancer, I can replay the whole day in my head. Everything I did. My life had never been completely flipped upside down on me before. I wasn't sure who to turn to. I probably did the worst thing I could do and put all my walls up. The people that actually have taken the time to get to know me know that I like to hide and take matters in my own hands. I don't feel like sharing or talking about my feelings at the time of my hardest days. I sit and sulk by myself and like it. I get annoyed when people (mostly my mom) but in and tell me that I need to get out and do something, or call a friend to talk or hang out because really, no I don't have to or have any urge to. I should, I am the worst friend when I am going through probably some of the hardest times of my life, I do hate this about myself but sometimes I need "me" time. Sometimes I just want to be alone and take care of myself. I do not think anything is wrong with this because this is MY way of coping. So please understand, I am not depressed I just like to be alone. I am my own best friend at times and I am the best friend I have. Let me cope my way and you cope your way. I've been a little anxious lately. Time seems to be going by so fast all of a sudden. Very soon I will get to start my new life. Only 48 more days until I should have my last chemotherapy. One thing I am so excited about is getting to grow my hair back. As much as I have loved this experience and being without hair, I can't wait to have hair again. I miss it so much, more than I ever thought I would. I am also excited to get back in shape. I have an ideal weight that I won't be totally happy until I reach it. 115. My new favorite number. I am excited to start working out and getting healthy again. I want to maintain this weight. I've heard it's hard, especially to keep it off once it's gone. But I've been fighting cancer for months now so honestly I've learned, anything is possible. It has everything to do with your mind set. Hopefully this summer I can lose all the weight I've gained. This fall it is another one of my goals to be back in school. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do still. It kind of sucks. I thought I had it all planned out. I would love to be a nurse. I know I'd be great at it in some ways. I hate hurting people especially physically so needles and IVs really aren't my thing. I've always wanted to be a teacher. There is that dream. Or maybe even a vet. I know I can do whatever I want to do. I can take the time to really think as well it's just hard. I'm too anxious to get a degree in literally anything and to find a job so I can do the one thing I want most, be a mom. This will be my job hopefully until my babies grow up. Hopefully we can live on just D's income for awhile. I don't want to miss a moment in my child's life especially when they are little. Maybe I can work part time instead of not at all. We will see. I'm also in a hurry to get married. I wish weddings weren't so expensive. I want a big wedding but that takes a lot of money so maybe a small one will have to do. Either way I will be happy just to marry him. Another thing I wanted to add was something that has been weighing heavily on my mind. I know this is MY blog and MY place for ME. Danny is a HUGE part of my life but sometimes I feel like I talk about him too much in my blog. I don't want others turning away from reading because I feel like I brag about how happy I am and lucky. Like I said, I don't like hurting people and I know I would be a little anxious to find love because I was always that way. Maybe even a little jealous of others, but don't get me wrong. I am always happy to hear other people and their relationships working. Having your relationship work is a blessing but also it is something you constantly have to work out. Love does not come easy. I will tell you that. We sometimes still question and have to think about if we are right for another. And luckily when we have these moments, we always come to the agreement that neither of us wants to go anywhere, no matter what. Danny and I have this book, well I have this book that I wrote Danny in high school when we weren't together. It's my feelings and frustrations. I wrote in it last night as I try to often. This letter to Danny was probably the deepest thing that I have ever written anyone. I've never felt that way when writing and I literally couldn't stop and I fought through the tears when I finished I wasn't sure whether I wanted him to read it now or later in life. I decided later. I mentioned it today, you know, just in case something were to happen to me suddenly, although I hope I never leave him and for more time to come for us. I wanted him to kinda get the idea in his head so he would know it was there to read whenever he needed to. I hated his reaction. I felt a little vulnerable and I put a lot of heart into that letter. It was on his lunch break and he was frustrated with work so I understand but still at least show a little emotion. When I am home I almost leave my troubles at the door unless I need his opinion on what I should do. After writing this letter last night I tried to fall asleep but I couldn't which isn't something that surprises me because this happens every night. I decided to pray. Now I do pray often, in my way but I don't think it is the "proper" way, if there is one. This prayer was different. It was long and emotional but I felt like someone or something was listening, other than my cute Sophie who was up licking my salty tears all night while Lukey and Danny slept in silence having no idea, this often happens but this is how I like it. Sometimes I feel like Danny doesn't know how to take my emotional happy or sad tears. He tries but I know I make him feel uncomfortable. Which is fine because I know he isn't very emotional. Sometimes I have no idea why he wants to be with me or why I want to be with him. We are so different. Somehow though in this crazy life through these crazy times, we work. I or even you probably will never understand but for some reason I like it. After working so hard for so long for something that I wanted so bad, I actually got it. Him. Never thought I would be here saying this because it still feels and sounds too good to be true. One thing I've been thinking about lately is couples. Sparks vs comfort. Now honestly, you tell me which one you want to feel with someone. I bet almost 99% of you would pick sparks.. am I right? Well I have a question for you.. why? I've felt the "sparks" with Danny before, at the beginning of our relationship but now I am more comfortable with him than I am with myself and that is something I would never change. When I long for a kiss I don't have to be nervous about taking one anymore. I can take one whenever I please no matter what and I love that. I've had boyfriends tell me before they leave me that they don't feel that "spark" anymore when they kiss me and always ended the relationship and honestly I never understood why. This left me feeling sad and confused because I thought that's what people longed for in relationships, that comfort you know will never go away, well at least that's what I longed for. Having it is weird and at times we've questioned it but what we've been looking for is that comfort feeling, that feeling that no matter what we look like or how bad we smell waking up in the morning next to each other, we can cuddle and laugh and joke and make fun of one another. I think that is the best kind of love. I would hate walking on egg shells around each other. Wondering what to say or what I can and cannot say, not being completely honest with him. I wouldn't be able to be me. And I think that is the number one thing that is most important in a relationship is being able to be yourself around someone who can also do the same. It's the easiest and best feeling to find someone who accepts you. Who loves you, no matter what. I've learned that recently with Danny. Being bald is great for me but I don't have to look at me all day. Danny does, and sometimes I find myself insecure about it around him and he always is there to reassure me that it's okay. We have both put on more weight that we ever expected and no matter how much weight he gains I could care less, I will be concerned but if he is happy, I am happy. I love that feeling. It's something that I try and never take for granted because it is so great. One day I hope you have the chance to know what I am talking about. And hopefully you will. I think I've talked myself to sleep, hopefully. I hope tomorrow brings a beautiful day, one that I can enjoy with the people I love most. Sweet dreams. Thanks for listening, I feel a lot better.

"If you can't handle me at my worst..

then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Day 20 - My dream guy. Does it need an explanation? 

My dream guy has never had to look a certain way. 

I've always found that it's much more than just looks. 

I've always wanted a guy to be:

selfless, 

loyal, 

kind, 

funny,

generous, 

patient, 

loving, 

understanding, 

strong, 

independent.

I know this list may sound like a lot of qualities. I don't expect every guy to fit these but I have found someone who is closer than I ever imagined to these. He has seen me at my absolute worst and is still here. I adore him more than anyone I have ever met. I am very lucky to be able to call him mine. He is very special to me.

the holiday

"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said “Journeys end in lovers meeting.” What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said “love is blind”. Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there’s another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas’, the worst Birthday’s, New Years Eve’s brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I’ve been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can’t swallow! All the usual symptoms."

Being a girl isn't as amazing as it's cracked up to be, especially when you're young. Now it has it's plus's but it hasn't always been this way, this easy. I will tell you why in just one word, that word is love. It sounds simple right? Not always. Especially when it's the one most important thing you want in your life. It's a craving. Now I am not talking about just any kind of love.. not love from family, friends, or co-workers. I'm talking about raw, mad, passionate, romantic, extraordinary, butterflies in the stomach, fairytale kind of love with your "special someone." I believe we are all on this earth to find that "special someone" It sounds simple, but why is it so complicated? Maybe because there are six billion people in this world. How rare is it to find love with odds like that? I would say it's very rare, very complicated. How are you supposed to find just one person to be with forever. One person to love all the qualities you have to offer. One person with good and bad qualities you also have to accept and love. It sounds almost impossible. Once you find that meaningful love sometimes it's hard to hold on to, for plenty of reasons. Pressure, selfishness, lust, unfaithfulness, lies, drama, immaturity, indecisiveness,  insecurities. The worst thing is falling in love alone. It happens all the time, to many of us. Always wanting that person to love you back, almost needing them to. At times it's quite exhausting. To love another with all your heart and soul. To desire them. Fantasize your life with them forever and to not be loved in return. It's heartbreaking. Heartbreak is another thing that comes with love. You risk that chance every time you fall. Is the fall worth making though? I believe it is. It hurts but it's better to feel heartbreak than constant loneliness. It's worth feeling something. I say fall. You never know how fleeting that love might be unless you fall. I've learned you can't find or force love. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall..

Learn Overcome Value Encourage

Loving myself

Day 30: A letter to yourself..

In my letter all I really want to say to myself is live my life my way. Do everything. See everything. Be everything. It's kind of perfect timing. I was given this book, "14,000 things to be happy about." My aunt gave this to me as a gift. She received it when she was battling Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She introduced me to this book when I was told I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Anyway, I read this book daily. I go through and underline all the things that make me happy. Even when I am having the absolute worst day, it's these simple little things that make me smile. They make me happy. I find this book sometimes turning my whole day around. It's a blessing. I recently purchased "The Wish List" By the same author. I actually received it today. I think I might love this book even more. It's filled with things you want to do in life. Kind of like things you want to do before you die. It's like a little checklist. Once you do something you can check it off in this book. You can also fill in the blanks with personal things you want to do. Things you want to accomplish. Not only does this book inspire me, it brings a lot of hope into my life. I have been highlighting all the things I want to do and it gives me hope. I love having these two books in my life, to inspire me to dream. Some wishes do come true.

I wanted to tell myself a few things I love about myself. I love my imagination. I always find myself in a fairytale. I think of these incredible things, I play them out in my mind and I imagine myself actually living them. I find this my way of coping with reality. When I find myself having a bad day, my imagination can always get me through the hardest times. Your mind is the most powerful thing you have. I love to embrace that. I love that I've always believed in love; that despite the disappointment I have faced, I still believe that real, genuine love exists. I am more than lucky to have found that with my special someone. I hope there is not a day in life I go without love of any kind. From family, a friend, or a lover. Love is the most beautiful feeling. I love my courage. I am very brave. I can overcome anything no matter what the situation may be. I've been through a lot. I've seen a lot and I think that has been a blessing. Going through hard, tough things. I love that I am independent. I've always found myself independent and I always loved that about myself. Independence is such a great trait to have in life. It's hard to get by without it. I can't even imagine. I love my honesty. I think honesty says a lot about who people really are. I find this sometimes rare in people. I am happy that I am confident enough in myself that I allow myself to tell the truth. Even if it may be hurtful towards me or someone else. In this letter I conclude with, be me. Be happy. Be thankful. Be silly. Be nice. Be funny. Be dramatic. Be emotional. Be anything I want to be, I'll never be anything else. It's all in my head. Suddenly I see this is what I want to be. I'm so thankful for the realization.

xoxox

I am thankful for..

My Dad, always thoughtful.

My Mom, always so caring.

My Sister, her beauty inside and out.

Danny, always taking care of me.

Sophie, her nurturing instincts.

Luke, my cuddle bug.

My Grandpa, always so giving.

My Grandma, love all her emotions.

My Uncle D, always makes me laugh.

My Auntie, I admire her strength.

Dr. Hansen, Eases my mind.

Family.

Friends.

Generous People.

My apartment.

Danny's Job.

My Job.

My Car.

Love.

Babies.

Authors, Books.

Bubble Baths.

4 Seasons.

Animals.

Water.

Miracles.

My Big Bed.

Quotes.

Medicine.

Doctors.

Food.

Blankets.

Everything.

This list could go on all day. I am so thankful for everything I have in my life. I can't believe tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am so excited to sit down with everyone I love and enjoy a meal. I hope you all have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Some things I love about to today;

Today I love that Danny is off. (:

I am reading a good book. Go Ask Alice. I can't put it down.

I love the cold fresh air outside.

I am going shopping today.

Sophie is sleeping in my lap.

I love sleeping in.

Tomorrow is Sushi Tuesday.

I love my comfy cozy apartment.

I am starting to feel amazing.

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more,

that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.

And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever."

Some things I love about today;

So, I started reading The Power.

Thanks to Kendra and Dillon. (:

I read her first book The Secret and loved it.

Each day I decided I am going to write some

things I love to get my day started off the right way.

Today I love the weather. I hope it snows!

Sunday is one of my favorite days.

I love that Danny is off today.

I love my family. I'm happy I got to spend last night with them all.

I love my chihuahuas.

Bubble Baths are amazing.

I love that Dexter and Desperate Housewives are on tonight.

Cheerios are my weakness.

Xoxox

It's in your blood

I can't stay over you.

It seems we drive forever but can never get away from here,

Just one more try.

I'm guessing you are over me, I guess it's bravery.

Because it's black out the window

While you sleep in the passenger seat.

When it's always on your mind but you never speak of the name.

It's in your blood and face and I'm certain it's fame.

So I stayed in the car cause the weather had gotten to me.

But it's really these road signs and freeways that I can't take.

This can't be how you live.

It's like a ball and chain around your waist or this simple state.

Your mind's sick again.

I'm tasting nothing but 4 words,

Please don't leave me.

And it's dark in the winter so your ideas start to sleep.

Well your head is spinning like that carousel, and I know you're a mess after 3 or 4.

But if you make it different then we'll make our way to the surface, and you favorite place.

Where we sit, and we breathe cause I know all the word and I sing you everything.

We're just thoughts so go ahead and speak.

So pick out what you like and call me when you're on the way.

You can spend the night and hope to sleep all day.

For me it's just another week,

Twenty-eight was once how I dreamed.

With your scents on my face I can leave and have you for days.

I still can't see you.

The summer came and we got lost, all of us.

You are nothing without her.

I still won't remember your face,

The features mix too well with this alcohol.

So we cover ourselves in your fear, and stay to watch that moon disappear under these lights.

This city's screaming at me.

And as you breathe the words I better go.

The sun is up and taking back all the shadows that covered this ground,

And our feet, like a blanket of coal.

This song is beautiful. My favorite.

Finally found it online, so it is now on my blog.

I believe it's about a couple who never truly forgot

about one another. In that loving way. Thought I'd share.

Day 2: Something you love about yourself.

I am an animal lover. One day I would love to have a farm.

I am ALWAYS on time. Unless Danny makes me late! (:

I am very strong. I can do anything I put my mind to.

I have a big heart. I love to love.

I am caring. Towards everything and everyone.

I only want happiness out of life.

I love reading something inspirational, and it makes me cry.
I love watching a good movie, and it makes me cry.
I love reading something nice someone said, and it makes me cry.
If something makes me cry those happy tears, their job is done.