One year

Today for some odd reason I felt like blogging. Lately it hasn't been something I've been needing or even wanting to do. I honestly don't even know how to blog anymore. I haven't been very open with the emotions I have been feeling, and I am not sure why. Maybe I am trying not to face them. I've been putting on a front and acting like everything is okay.
A year ago yesterday I found out I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It's a day I will never forget as much as I would like too. This year has flown by. Today I am happy and healthy. My hair is coming back curly which is crazy because it was so straight before. I am feeling great. One thing I think is really crazy is that half of this year was a complete blur. Going through chemotherapy is something I hardly remember. I chose to forget about it and never go back to that situation to feel the pain I was in then. My mind has done a terrific job forgetting about it totally. I am so happy for that.
I haven't been very thankful for everything I have and how truly lucky I am. I am working on trying to be a better person for myself and everyone I am close with. Sometimes I take things for granted. I want to start  appreciating the things that I have rather than wishing or hoping for more. To be honest I am one of the lucky ones. 

Remission

Feels GREAT.
My life is back to normal.

I love my sister

"Remember when I said... "This will all be in the past"? Well that time is almost here. Hopefully and at last. I wouldn't inflict this kind of pain on anyone, but why you of all people. What have you ever done? This tragedy we had never anticipated has got me thinking; It has me believing that the worst happens to the the best of us. Your life was perfect. You yourself was perfect. You didn't need to redefine the meaning of life. You didn't need to change the ways you lived your life and spent your nights. Unlike the ones I can name off the top of my head who do. They are the ones that need to. Need to be thankful, and grateful. Instead of deceiving and hateful. Things I never had to second guess you based on. Although this is almost over... It shouldn't have ever started in the first place. If this was gods way of opening my eyes to this beautiful life, then let me know now because that's exactly what it feels like. I'm in the process of turning my life around. Give, give, give, with very little take. Can I ask why your well being was jeopardized for my sake? I'm so thankful, yet its a bitter sweet kinda thing. Nothing compares to the feelings I'm feeling. For the rest of my life I will always remember what will soon be "At one point in time" how you opened my eyes. I'll always remember the first time I got to both, witness and feel what healing was actually like. I told you we would always be there. Especially when times got rough. But who was I kidding you didn't need us. You were always strong enough. Your independent and although it may feel as if your trapped in your own body... More importantly your free. all the things I aspire to be. All the things you inspire me to feel. You found strength within your personal struggles, without losing yourself and still remaining tolerable. You were ill for a while but you battled through without losing your smile. Because of this you are my hero and you will always remain it. You were capable of not only keeping your life but saving mine. You taught me what it could be like, simply... without saying anything. I wish I could help the world like you helped me. I want to open their eyes and teach them to not take advantage of anything, especially the people in their life. I want to show them to hold on to them with all of their might. But I doubt I can. It never made me so hopeless until now, realizing that I cant. Actions speak louder than words... Maybe that's why you had such a huge effect on me. Your one action; this only tragedy was stronger than a million words spoken could ever be. If you take your time to read; and think props to me... once again this was all you. Along with all the other times, your my inspiration. The one that inspires me to interpret my feeling into a rhyme. At first it was slowly but surely, now your speeding through this sickness like it never even phased you. The future has a lot to hold.. Part 1 is history; Today is brand new. THIS IS PART 2!
The ending of my sisters journey; <3
Whenever I start to write even when I don't know what its gonna be about at first... I always end up thinking about Kristin; How strong she is, how happy and positive she is, how she kicked that cancers ass!.. just whatever it is about her I write away like no other and it comes so naturally. That's how I know she is my biggest inspiration because when I start thinking and writing about her I never want to stop. The whole thing that happened with her makes me feel so much animosity towards people who take their lives for granted and test their limits in such wrong ways. Things that can end their life easily that can be prevented. It always has me thinking that there are always people out their dying for a life that others abuse. If you don't understand then I guess you would have to be in my shoes?
Basically what I'm sayin is... put your life to better use and make better use of your time. Because you'll never know, there might come a time that pauses or stops your life on a dime. 
Love you Kristin, your the best sisssstor anyone could ever ask for <3"

My sister wrote this for me. I am so jealous of her talent. I love you Cassidy Ann.

Results

I probably won't know my results until April 7th. I know it's kind of far away. 

I don't want the news over the phone and Dr. Hansen is always super busy so my next appointment is then. I want to see what he has to say and where to go from there.

 I want everything done in person, more intimately. I will keep everyone posted once I find out. 

Bad vibes

I had my pet scan today, I was happy and excited going there but once I got there it felt like everything was going wrong. After I drank that yucky dye I was relaxing for about an hour and the nurse came in and said that the computers were down so it was going to be another 30 minutes. By this time I had to pee really bad and I knew I wouldn't be able to go until after the scan. Finally another hour goes by they are ready so as I am in the machine my head starts to hurt really bad. I thought my brain was going to explode. I started getting nervous and anxious. I started sweating and getting really hot. (I am very claustrophobic) Finally after 40 minutes it was over. I ran into the hospital to pee then back into my car when I started feeling sick. Luckily I had a chick fil a cup in there, I puked my guts out for 10 minutes. For some reason every time after I get a pet scan I get sick. I hate it because its literally the worst feeling ever. I got myself home and laid in bed until Danny came home for lunch, and left and now I am here blogging about my horrible day.
I was happy to see that Kendra posted something new so I read it and fell in love because I love the way she writes. I can relate to her, I love that the most. She totally understands me and I understand her. I can't wait to see her tomorrow!
Danny is leaving tomorrow with his brother and dad, not sure where really. I am going to miss him but I feel like I am ready to just hang out with my girlfriends for once. Last weekend was a lot of fun that I just want to do it again.

Back to life

I haven't been on FB or Twitter for a week now, at first it was hard to pull myself away from it just because I am so used to getting on there whenever I am on my computer. And all the time on my phone. I uninstalled the apps from my phone so I don't get notifications or have to urge just to check it. I love life without those two things. I feel not apart of the social world right now and it feels great. I can't believe I have gone a week but its so worth it. I want to go even longer. I took up Foursquare, which is a social network, but since no one really has it.. yet, I enjoy it. It's fun. I am also so addicted to Words With Friends. I got Danny, Ian, and Tawnee addicted so I am happy that I have people who are literally playing me all through out the day.
Tomorrow I have my petscan. I am so happy and nervous all at the same time. It's weird that I won't be going to chemo tomorrow but I think I will be fine without it. I hope I am in remission. I can't wait to hear what Dr. Hansen thinks. I want to know where I go from here.
Maddy's vet appointment went really well yesterday. They think she might have type 3 diabetes which basically means that the diabetes might have went away. They never talk about type 3 because it is so rare. Our vet has only seen it in one other dog, which was a yellow lab like Mad. It would be crazy if Mad was one in a million. We are kinda hoping for this because insulin, syringes, and her diabetic dog food is REALLY expensive. It would be nice to use that money for others things. Either way, I just want her healthy. They are supposed to call me today with the news.
I am scheduled to work next week. I am so excited. I am started to get really bored being home all the time. Especially now that I am feeling great all day everyday. It's exciting to get back to my normal life. I am also really scared though because I don't know what I want to do about school. It's really stressing me out lately.

Dear readers

I am finished with chemotherapy as of now. I have my petscan on the 24th. The results of the petscan will then tell me whether or not I am in remission. I have a feeling that I already am in remission. But I am very anxious to see the results. My next appointment with Dr. Hansen is April 7. I can't wait to see what he says, and what the next step will be. My portacath has been bugging me. It has moved, most likely over a nerve. So hopefully I will be getting it out so I am able to use my left arm. I will keep you all updated. Thanks for reading.
Love always, Kristin

Guess who's back..

I am (: Here are some quick updates: I am starting to feel TONS better only 3 days after chemotherapy. I think that might be my record. Just have to keep taking my nausea medicine and I should be fine. Nothing new, I started reading, The Choice by Nicholas Sparks, I love it. I have a new member to the family, well sort of. My puppy Maddy is now living with us instead of at my parents. I got her in the 6th grade for my birthday and now that we have a yard she gets to stay here with me. It's been a lot of fun having her here. My baby bunnies aren't baby bunnies anymore. They are rabbits. They grew up way too fast. The house is coming along great. We love it here. I have been lazy, there are a few boxes left to unpack. We got the ceilings, doorways, and base boards painted. In a few weeks we will start doing the walls. I have some wall paper I need to rip off in the kitchen still.Basically I am just happy that I only have ONE more chemotherapy left. It feels great. I never thought I would make it to here. Glad I have. I bought a new TV for our bedroom. We love it. I hope to be blogging more.. I mean it this time.

I miss

My hair
My eyelashes
& My eyebrows 

:/

I'm back

I missed a day due to moving and unpacking. Also the Super Bowl. I am thrilled that Green Bay won. I wanted them to. It was a good, close game. I want to go to a Super Bowl game SO bad. Raiders please! Maybe someday. The unpacking is coming along great. I am in no rush but I kinda feel rushed with chemo coming up and all. I am happy to be even closer to the hospital. That way I can take myself to get my shot the next day after chemo. I won't have to have someone take me. I've got to make this post quick because we still have a few more trips back to the apartment. Then I will deep clean the apartment and hopefully someone will rent it out before march so we can get out of paying that month. Thankfully Danny hooked up cable and internet so I won't have to wait to blog or watch my shows. The Bachelor is making me nervous. I wonder what will happen tonight. I am starting to like Twitter more than Facebook. Never thought I would say that. Facebook is becoming Myspace. Too much drama and negativity for me. Especially from certain people who have nothing better to so than bitch about others. It's annoying. Who am I to judge though. I hope to make a better post later tonight. Like I said I am kinda in a hurry and are just writing my thoughts. Thanks for listening. 

Truth

Getting cancer was a good thing. It helped me prioritize my life and realize the things that actually matter. It's blessed me and helped me to be a better person. I am truly grateful for its teachings and I hope that I can remember what got me here. I am happy to be where I am. Thanks to cancer I can get back to the things I enjoy most. Life has been a learning experience for me. And now is the time to get it right. I can't wait to see what life has in store for me.

too good to be true

Now that my "chemo brain" is finally gone I can stop neglecting my blog. I am starting to feel better, still just a little tired and beat up but before you know it I will be back to normal. 9 down 3 more to go! I can't even tell you how excited I am to be done. It's almost too good to be true. I was reading Self Matters last night and I was reading about anxiety and how it can take off 10 years or more of your life. This worries me because my anxiety is very bad and cancer is already taking off years of my life so I keep thinking I'll be lucky if I make it to 40! Really, I could be terribly wrong but what if I'm not. I hate having to worry over everything. I am going to try to get my mind to work in other ways. Better ways that aren't a waste of my time. I am in need of healthy thinking. This is going to be hard and will probably take some time. But I am going to stick with it and stop exhausting my brain and put it to better use. Hopefully this isn't too much to ask. I think I can do it. Hopefully.
random thoughts;
*I am loving this snow.
*14 days til I turn 20!
*Happy 40th Auntie! I love you!
*Missing my Cali family already.
*Really craving a nutty coconut sundae from Baskin Robins.
*3 more 3 more 3 more!
*I love Valentines Day!
*Something I learned recently, there is nothing to be afraid of.

"if you don't want to read, i don't blame you"

I've finally come to the realization that I am on fb way too much. Not that it is necessarily a bad thing, I love knowing what others are up to, or hearing quotes that I haven't heard before. I think it's great how others open up somehow by something so little as a status. But maybe it is a bad thing. I usually am on when I am bored or have some extra time, but lately all my time is extra time. I'm lucky for my fund and Danny who has been supporting me lately, in anything I want. I feel a little spoiled, not that I don't deserve it because I think I do. What girl doesn't want a man to spoil them. As long as I don't let it get to my head. Through this journey I've learned a lot about myself. Thinking back to the day I was diagnosed with cancer, I can replay the whole day in my head. Everything I did. My life had never been completely flipped upside down on me before. I wasn't sure who to turn to. I probably did the worst thing I could do and put all my walls up. The people that actually have taken the time to get to know me know that I like to hide and take matters in my own hands. I don't feel like sharing or talking about my feelings at the time of my hardest days. I sit and sulk by myself and like it. I get annoyed when people (mostly my mom) but in and tell me that I need to get out and do something, or call a friend to talk or hang out because really, no I don't have to or have any urge to. I should, I am the worst friend when I am going through probably some of the hardest times of my life, I do hate this about myself but sometimes I need "me" time. Sometimes I just want to be alone and take care of myself. I do not think anything is wrong with this because this is MY way of coping. So please understand, I am not depressed I just like to be alone. I am my own best friend at times and I am the best friend I have. Let me cope my way and you cope your way. I've been a little anxious lately. Time seems to be going by so fast all of a sudden. Very soon I will get to start my new life. Only 48 more days until I should have my last chemotherapy. One thing I am so excited about is getting to grow my hair back. As much as I have loved this experience and being without hair, I can't wait to have hair again. I miss it so much, more than I ever thought I would. I am also excited to get back in shape. I have an ideal weight that I won't be totally happy until I reach it. 115. My new favorite number. I am excited to start working out and getting healthy again. I want to maintain this weight. I've heard it's hard, especially to keep it off once it's gone. But I've been fighting cancer for months now so honestly I've learned, anything is possible. It has everything to do with your mind set. Hopefully this summer I can lose all the weight I've gained. This fall it is another one of my goals to be back in school. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do still. It kind of sucks. I thought I had it all planned out. I would love to be a nurse. I know I'd be great at it in some ways. I hate hurting people especially physically so needles and IVs really aren't my thing. I've always wanted to be a teacher. There is that dream. Or maybe even a vet. I know I can do whatever I want to do. I can take the time to really think as well it's just hard. I'm too anxious to get a degree in literally anything and to find a job so I can do the one thing I want most, be a mom. This will be my job hopefully until my babies grow up. Hopefully we can live on just D's income for awhile. I don't want to miss a moment in my child's life especially when they are little. Maybe I can work part time instead of not at all. We will see. I'm also in a hurry to get married. I wish weddings weren't so expensive. I want a big wedding but that takes a lot of money so maybe a small one will have to do. Either way I will be happy just to marry him. Another thing I wanted to add was something that has been weighing heavily on my mind. I know this is MY blog and MY place for ME. Danny is a HUGE part of my life but sometimes I feel like I talk about him too much in my blog. I don't want others turning away from reading because I feel like I brag about how happy I am and lucky. Like I said, I don't like hurting people and I know I would be a little anxious to find love because I was always that way. Maybe even a little jealous of others, but don't get me wrong. I am always happy to hear other people and their relationships working. Having your relationship work is a blessing but also it is something you constantly have to work out. Love does not come easy. I will tell you that. We sometimes still question and have to think about if we are right for another. And luckily when we have these moments, we always come to the agreement that neither of us wants to go anywhere, no matter what. Danny and I have this book, well I have this book that I wrote Danny in high school when we weren't together. It's my feelings and frustrations. I wrote in it last night as I try to often. This letter to Danny was probably the deepest thing that I have ever written anyone. I've never felt that way when writing and I literally couldn't stop and I fought through the tears when I finished I wasn't sure whether I wanted him to read it now or later in life. I decided later. I mentioned it today, you know, just in case something were to happen to me suddenly, although I hope I never leave him and for more time to come for us. I wanted him to kinda get the idea in his head so he would know it was there to read whenever he needed to. I hated his reaction. I felt a little vulnerable and I put a lot of heart into that letter. It was on his lunch break and he was frustrated with work so I understand but still at least show a little emotion. When I am home I almost leave my troubles at the door unless I need his opinion on what I should do. After writing this letter last night I tried to fall asleep but I couldn't which isn't something that surprises me because this happens every night. I decided to pray. Now I do pray often, in my way but I don't think it is the "proper" way, if there is one. This prayer was different. It was long and emotional but I felt like someone or something was listening, other than my cute Sophie who was up licking my salty tears all night while Lukey and Danny slept in silence having no idea, this often happens but this is how I like it. Sometimes I feel like Danny doesn't know how to take my emotional happy or sad tears. He tries but I know I make him feel uncomfortable. Which is fine because I know he isn't very emotional. Sometimes I have no idea why he wants to be with me or why I want to be with him. We are so different. Somehow though in this crazy life through these crazy times, we work. I or even you probably will never understand but for some reason I like it. After working so hard for so long for something that I wanted so bad, I actually got it. Him. Never thought I would be here saying this because it still feels and sounds too good to be true. One thing I've been thinking about lately is couples. Sparks vs comfort. Now honestly, you tell me which one you want to feel with someone. I bet almost 99% of you would pick sparks.. am I right? Well I have a question for you.. why? I've felt the "sparks" with Danny before, at the beginning of our relationship but now I am more comfortable with him than I am with myself and that is something I would never change. When I long for a kiss I don't have to be nervous about taking one anymore. I can take one whenever I please no matter what and I love that. I've had boyfriends tell me before they leave me that they don't feel that "spark" anymore when they kiss me and always ended the relationship and honestly I never understood why. This left me feeling sad and confused because I thought that's what people longed for in relationships, that comfort you know will never go away, well at least that's what I longed for. Having it is weird and at times we've questioned it but what we've been looking for is that comfort feeling, that feeling that no matter what we look like or how bad we smell waking up in the morning next to each other, we can cuddle and laugh and joke and make fun of one another. I think that is the best kind of love. I would hate walking on egg shells around each other. Wondering what to say or what I can and cannot say, not being completely honest with him. I wouldn't be able to be me. And I think that is the number one thing that is most important in a relationship is being able to be yourself around someone who can also do the same. It's the easiest and best feeling to find someone who accepts you. Who loves you, no matter what. I've learned that recently with Danny. Being bald is great for me but I don't have to look at me all day. Danny does, and sometimes I find myself insecure about it around him and he always is there to reassure me that it's okay. We have both put on more weight that we ever expected and no matter how much weight he gains I could care less, I will be concerned but if he is happy, I am happy. I love that feeling. It's something that I try and never take for granted because it is so great. One day I hope you have the chance to know what I am talking about. And hopefully you will. I think I've talked myself to sleep, hopefully. I hope tomorrow brings a beautiful day, one that I can enjoy with the people I love most. Sweet dreams. Thanks for listening, I feel a lot better.

one more thing to add to the list

Roughly a month ago I had my pet scan. You know the one that showed the terrific news about my cancer cells shrinking. Well there was something else that showed up on that scan as well.. I've been told it's "not that big of a deal" and "not to worry about it".. but hello, I am miss anxiety! How can I not. The reason I am even blogging about this is because lately it's been a concern of mine. They found a cyst on my left ovary and lately it's been giving me a lot of pain. This is something I brought up with Dr. Hansen as soon as I found out. He told me that once chemotherapy is over we will look more into it, unless it is giving me pain now, which at the time I was having little pain and always wondered what it was and now it makes total sense. Well now that it is giving me more frequent pain I am thinking I should tell him so he can tell me what he thinks we should do. I hate being the paranoid patient but why shouldn't I be. I want my body as healthy as possible. Like I said it's probably nothing but I worry, back to I worry about having children. I feel like sometimes life is giving me every doubt that I will not be able to get pregnant. This has a lot to do with my anxiety. I am a firm believer in thoughts become things so I hate thinking negative things but honestly I can't help it. I've tried. I've thought about this all day and it hasn't left my mind. Now that I am blogging about it I'm hoping it will leave my mind so I can actually take a break and get some rest. I can't wait to talk to Dr. Hansen for some advice on what the hell is going on in my body. Like I said, he always eases my mind.

Sleepy head

Yesterday, all I did was sleep. I feel asleep at chemo again and when I got home I slept.
Today I am feeling pretty good other than the fact I have to go back in this morning for my shot. Sometimes I feel that the shot makes everything 10x worse. It's a yucky feeling.
I haven't been reading or blogging because I need to rest. I miss doing those things. They are what keep me sane. 
I am hoping for a speedy recovery. Tomorrow is my grandpas birthday, I am most likely going to miss it, I just don't want to. 
Sunday is Kerra and Madison's birthday, and I don't want to miss that either. 
Fingers crossed for little nausea, and little soreness. 
Please please please body, you are doing great, I have faith in you.

The Unknown

I don't want to fall asleep because when I wake up that means it's time for chemotherapy.

I am constantly trying to eat my cravings away because I won't have cravings much longer.

No wonder I am gaining weight.. 

I keep telling myself I will be able to work it off once I am better. It's easier said then done. 

I hate dreading to wake up tomorrow but I can't blame myself. 

I keep praying that I'll only have to do this once. 

I love the unknown, but not this unknown. 

Even if it were to come back I wouldn't care just as long as God could give me a sign. 

I don't think that would happen but I still search. 

I've always wondered why he picked me or if he even had a say. 

Even though I would pick myself over anyone else and I have never been upset with him for choosing me, I just wonder if he had a choosing and why it was me. 

I am probably being selfish, it could be worse. 

I've never wanted something so badly then to just be better. 

I will never take a feel good day for granted again after this. 

I hope once I am through with my treatments I never have to look back. 

I want to move forward. With life and everything it has in store for me. 

At the end of the day I am grateful. 

For everything I have. I hope I remain the same person I am today for the rest of my life.

 I hope I never forget what made me who I am. 

xoxox 

Just some thoughts

I am finally reading again, thank goodness. I go through fazes, sometimes I am constantly reading and other times I never read. When I am not reading I don't feel as smart as I feel when I do read. Right now I am reading three books, The Book Of Awakening, Marley & Me, and a book all about chihuahuas. I love each one..
*The Book Of Awakening, is amazing. I find myself wanting to read ahead, but I don't because it's supposed to be a page a day. It's hard to stop myself from reading on. Thanks again Rachael!
*Marley & Me, I have been wanting to read for awhile now. I love the movie, I always cry. I like how it is written by a man. I like that John Grogan is so honest and smart enough to write a story about his dog. It shows me that men actually do have feelings.
*The Chihuahua, I am reading because my two chihuahuas are little shits. I want a better understanding of them and tips on training them. The main thing I need to do is socialization. I take them places all the time but they still bark no matter what. It's annoying to me and I am sure others. Hopefully I can get them a little more behaved this year. I think not living in an apartment will help things a lot. All they know is this apartment. I think having a backyard will be a huge change for them.  
Tomorrow I have my 8th chemotherapy. I am not excited or even anxious. It sucks. I hate the attitude I have built towards going to chemo, I used to love it. It's just everything about that place makes me nauseous. The smells especially. It's weird. I will never be able to explain. Last chemo I slept the whole time. It made the time fly by but I remember always wondering how people could sleep because I never could. But now I understand why most people are sleeping. I am sick of my port-a-cath, especially being poked there. It's always itchy. I can't wait to get it taken out. Which probably won't be for awhile, but still. I keep telling myself after this only 4 more! 4 more! It sounds like hardly any and it is. I just wish I could speed up time. I need to stay positive, I know and I've been trying it's just hard. But I know I can do it, I have to. I am happy to see Dr. Hansen so he can check my lymph nodes and tell me he doesn't feel any. That always makes me happy. Seeing that the chemo is actually doing it's job and not just making me sick. It's hard for me to even enjoy my last feel good day because I am too worried about tomorrow. 
D was able to get the rest of my chemo days off, which I am really happy about. He said something the other day that made me happy. He said, "I hated the thought that you were at chemo and I wasn't there with you." This made me smile and realize how much he does care. D isn't a wear your feelings on your sleeve kind of guy. I can count on one hand how many times I've seen him cry. Not sure if this is a good or bad thing. I've considered it good because I do enough crying for the both of us.
I'm going to try and enjoy the rest of my day that I have left.

Thanks for listening.

Changes for 2011

2011

This year I will be turning twenty and I'm starting to get excited. This year is probably going to be my favorite year of my life so far. Soon I will be in remission. I've been diagnosed with cancer for 107 days, exactly. As you can imagine it's been the most life changing, and eye opening experience that I hope I only get once in life because once was all I needed. I am happy to be living in a way that most people never live. Everyone is given one life, short or long doesn't matter, it matters what you do in that time. I find this to be true. 2011 is going to bring, remission, NO MORE CANCER. Better yet, NO MORE CHEMOTHERAPY. It's going to bring my future with Danny, hopefully engagement, maybe even marriage. In 2011 I will be living my life my way, FINALLY. I will be 100% healthy in body and mind. My mind for once feels healthy. The toxins of what I used to think life was have vanished and my mind now knows how to live a happy and fulfilled life. Being at this state of mind is weight being lifted off my shoulders. I can breathe. I feel successful in my state of mind. I've always dreamed of being here.

I've made a bunch of new year resolutions that I hope to achieve;

* Start eating healthy.

* Improve education.

* Exercise hopefully everyday.

* Use less salt and butter.

* Get a better understanding of Danny.

* Watch less TV.

* Get organized.

* Stop swearing.

* Go to bed at a decent hour.

* Take Soph and Luke for a walk 3 times a week.

* Spend less money on unnecessary things. 

* Help others more.

* Keep my house clean.

* Be a better friend.

* Be a better "other half."

* Tell the ones I love, "I love you" more.

* Run a 8 minute mile.

* Stay focused in school.

* Be happy with the way I look. 

New Year, New Life, New Me. 

"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."

March 10th

This should be the day I have my last chemo treatment.. I hope! 

I couldn't be more excited. I can't wait to get back to normal life.

I just hope I can hang in there a little longer. 

March 10th March 10th March 10th, 

Please come soon! 

Love always, Kristin

I did something off my wish list today.. wear a wig

✓

This morning my grandma, grandpa, and I drove down to Head Covers to get my wig thinned and trimmed. 

My wig looks and feels so much better than before. 

I wore it to Mimi's Cafe and we ate a yummy lunch. 

It's been very windy and rainy today so it was kind of annoying trying to  fix my wig and make sure it looked okay.

I don't think I like it as much as my cute hats and scarves though. 

I like to be comfy. My wig is itchy and uncomfortable,

but my hats are warm and comfy, that's what I like.