cancer sucks

One thing I dislike is revolving my life around chemotherapy. 

I have to plan things and get things done on the few days I feel good and I don't like it. Mostly because I exhaust myself trying to do the things I need to do. I mean I could try and do things on the days I don't feel good but I don't think I would get very much done. I am very happy that I have my good days, I wish I had a few more but as long as the chemotherapy is working I am the happiest girl alive. I would be devastated if it weren't. I consider myself so lucky. I am not sure how okay I would be if my doctor told me there was nothing they could do to treat my cancer. Or I could undergo chemo but there is a huge percentage that my body won't respond. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I have been hearing stories, amazing stories about people who were told there was nothing they could do to fight off the cancer but they never lost hope. Even though all the odds were against them, they wanted to try chemo. They wanted to put up a fight. Most of them ended up living. It's crazy because it's really all about your mind set, your attitude. Instead of asking "why me?" ask yourself "why not me?" Once you lose hope, you could possibly lose your life. I am amazed by people. If I was told there was nothing they could do for my cancer I never thought I would undergo chemo. I wouldn't want to die sick and unhappy but hearing these stories gives me hope. They have changed my point of view on things and now there is no way I would ever give up. Even if I had to undergo things that would totally suck. You just never know what the outcome could be. Even with our technology, doctors never can tell. I just want a cure for cancer. I am so sick of hearing and seeing all the people with cancer. It's a horrible disease and I want nothing more than a cure. One day, I keep telling myself. One day soon.. Never lose hope.

xoxox